When Spencer Matthews and Jamie Laing finally sat down to talk in September 2025, they weren’t just mending a friendship—they were untangling a public unraveling that had played out across British tabloids for over two years. What started as a quiet misunderstanding between two reality TV veterans from E4's Made in Chelsea exploded into a media storm after Matthews missed Laing’s 2023 wedding to Sophie Habboo and didn’t show up at the finish line of Laing’s 150-mile Comic Relief ultramarathonManchester, which raised £2,053,835. The silence between them wasn’t just awkward—it was broadcasted. And now, after years of speculation, they spoke. Honestly. Rawly. For the first time.
The Wedding That Wasn’t Invited
Matthews, sober since 2018, says he never received a direct invitation to Laing’s wedding. He found out he wasn’t on the guest list through a Daily Mail article. "I was pretty hurt by that," he admitted on his Untapped podcast. "I tried to brush it under the table. I’m sure it wasn’t malicious from you—at least I’d like to think it wasn’t." Laing, host of The Great Company podcast, didn’t dispute it. "I didn’t invite you," he said plainly. "I didn’t think we were in a place where I could. I didn’t want to fake it. And honestly? I didn’t want to risk you saying no in front of everyone. Better to just not ask." The root? The stag do. Matthews had declined the invitation, citing his sobriety. "I thought it was fine," he said. "I didn’t think it was a big deal." But Laing, who’d spent months planning a weekend of drinking, dancing, and bonding, took it differently. "It felt like a rejection," he said. "Like you were saying my world—my friends, my fun—wasn’t worth being part of."The Ultramarathon and the Silence
In March 2024, Laing ran 150 miles across northern England to raise money for Comic Relief. Thousands lined the route. Celebrities showed up. Even Ollie Proudlock, another Made in Chelsea alum, surprised him by appearing at the finish line. But Matthews? Nothing. No call. No text. No social media post during the run. "I waited for the phone to ring," Matthews said. "It never did." Laing didn’t blame him for not running the whole thing. But he was hurt Matthews didn’t show up at the end. "There’s no way he would have come," Laing said. "We weren’t friendly at the time. Why would you turn up if we weren’t talking?" Matthews admitted he’d planned to post a supportive message after Laing finished—but never did. "I hadn’t even realised I made a mistake," he said. "I was watching you. When you finished, I posted what I thought was a good statement." The post came hours later. Too late. Too quiet.
Media Storm and Mental Health
What neither man expected was how the silence became a headline. Articles in Cosmopolitan UK, The Standard, and The Tab turned their estrangement into a soap opera. "All these articles started coming out saying we weren’t friends," Laing said. "And I think that was very upsetting for both of us." The focus on their feud drowned out the real story: Laing’s incredible achievement. £2,053,835 for Comic Relief. A feat that saved lives. Yet the media couldn’t stop asking: Why didn’t Spencer come? Laing also opened up about his own struggles. "I had crippling anxiety and panic attacks in my 20s," he revealed. "I never told anyone. Not even close friends. That’s why I took the absence so personally. Rejection… it still cuts deep."A Reconciliation, Finally
The turning point? They both appeared on each other’s podcasts. Matthews invited Laing onto Untapped. Laing returned the favor on The Great Company. The conversations, recorded on September 24, 2025, were the first time in 20 years they’d had "two very serious conversations," as Laing put it. Matthews admitted: "I know I’m not a great friend to Jamie." Laing responded: "And I’m too sensitive. I internalize everything. I let it fester." They didn’t magically become best friends again. But they stopped pretending the rift didn’t exist. "We’ve been drifting," Matthews said. "And the media made it worse. But now? We’re talking. That’s something."
What This Means for Public Friendships
Their story isn’t just about two reality stars. It’s about how social media and tabloid culture warp private misunderstandings into public spectacles. When a friend doesn’t show up to your big day, it’s not always malice. Sometimes, it’s silence. Miscommunication. Fear. Sobriety. Anxiety. Their reconciliation shows that even the most public feuds can be healed—with honesty, not headlines. And sometimes, all it takes is a phone call that finally comes.Frequently Asked Questions
Why did Spencer Matthews miss Jamie Laing’s wedding and ultramarathon?
Matthews didn’t receive a direct invitation to the wedding and learned of his exclusion through media reports. He declined the stag do due to his sobriety since 2018, which Laing interpreted as a personal rejection. For the ultramarathon, Matthews didn’t attend because he felt their friendship had drifted, and he assumed Laing didn’t want him there. He later admitted he should’ve reached out more actively.
How much money did Jamie Laing raise for Comic Relief?
Jamie Laing raised £2,053,835 during his 150-mile ultramarathon in Manchester in March 2024. The funds supported Comic Relief’s mental health and poverty relief programs. Despite the charity’s success, media coverage overwhelmingly focused on his strained relationship with Spencer Matthews, overshadowing the achievement.
Did Spencer Matthews and Jamie Laing reconcile publicly?
Yes. In September 2025, both men appeared on each other’s podcasts—Untapped and The Great Company—and had candid, emotional conversations about their 20-year friendship. Laing called it the first time in decades they’d had serious, honest talks, marking the end of a two-year public rift.
What role did the media play in their feud?
British outlets like The Daily Mail, Cosmopolitan UK, and The Tab amplified speculation about their friendship, turning private hurt into viral headlines. This pressured both men to react publicly, deepening the divide. Laing said the media’s obsession with their feud overshadowed his £2 million+ charity effort, making the emotional toll even greater.
Are Spencer Matthews and Jamie Laing friends again?
They’re not back to how they were in their Made in Chelsea days, but they’ve moved past the silence. Both admitted their own shortcomings and acknowledged their emotional vulnerabilities. They’ve re-established communication and say they’re committed to being more present for each other—not for the cameras, but because they’ve finally talked.
How long have Spencer Matthews and Jamie Laing known each other?
They’ve known each other for approximately 20 years, since meeting on E4’s Made in Chelsea in the mid-2000s. Their friendship evolved from reality TV camaraderie to genuine bond—until the misunderstandings of 2023 and 2024 fractured it. Their 2025 conversations marked the first time in years they addressed the rift with honesty.